Three Reminders For Faithful Fathers

February 1, 2001
Michael Evans

For good or ill, most of us fathers came through the public school system.  Therefore we are all familiar with the term “homework.”  This month you get a homework assignment (Yes, I promise to do mine as well).

Whether or not you fulfill it is up to you, but since your wife probably read this two weeks before you did I’m warning you in advance (sort of) that it doesn’t look good. 

Here’s the problem:  Dads are men.  Here’s the solution: Moms aren’t.  Don’t get me wrong.  Men have a high calling in the church, the family, and the state. 

But there are some things in which men are almost universally weak.  Self-evaluation is one such area.

In the areas of fathering and leading in the home it is very common for men to stand alone, never really receiving the valuable input that their wives have to offer.  What a tragic shame.

Dad’s let’s not be like Johnny. At Sunday School the teacher was explaining how God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny, a child in the Kindergarten class, seemed especially attentive when the teacher explained how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.  Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny what’s the matter?”  Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side.  I think I’m going to have a wife.”

Anyway, Here’s the assignment:  Men, take the following “Three Reminders For Faithful Fathers” to your wife and ask her how you’re doing and where you can improve.  Yes, it’s that easy.

Don’t expect her to respond right away.  After she regains consciousness tell her that in two or three days you would appreciate  her input.

We dads can stumble around needlessly when sometimes all we need is a couple spoonful’s of reality from our wives.  

From Psalm 127 I offer you the following Three Reminders to Faithful Fathers:

First, Dad is a man of vision.   Verse 1: “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;  Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain. 

The most unnerving words in this Psalm are the words “in vain.”  Three times they appear.  Each time in reference to the self-sufficient man does things his own way.

C.H. Spurgeon once wrote, “The human hand without the hand of God is in vain.  The human eye without the eye of God is in vain.”

We must observe our lives and our families through the lens of God’s Word. Nothing a man builds in this life, in his own strength, counts for anything…ultimately.

Dads, we must become men of vision, God’s vision for our homes.  Is your heart in the valley of “no vision” this day?  Are you growing in your servant leadership in your home?  Do you have a plan for your home or do you just wing it and call it a day? 

If God is not the one who is building our home our home is no better than the second little pig whose house was made out of straw…a couple of huffs and puffs and poof! Gone in a flash.

You get fired. You get a terminal illness. One of your children suffers a tragedy.  Any of these things without the Lord can make a house crumble.

Godly homes and Godly children do not come about by accident.  Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.  Are you a man of vision for the home?

Second,Dad leads by example.  Verse 2:  “It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors;  For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.” 

Dads, how are you doing in this area of leading by example?  Do you work so hard and long that you rise early and retire late nearly every day?  Do you work harder and longer…and longer…and longer? Why?

The Psalmist says it is “in vain” that you rise up early and retire late.

Is God against hard work?  Certainly not.  But He’s also very much for genuine rest.  Work hard. Rest hard.  Enjoy your family. Play games.  Laugh with the children. 

The last part of verse two should be an encouragement to those fathers among us who tend to worry much. “For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.”

Have you ever thought about that before?  The Lord will give to His children even while they sleep.  He will give you rest if you will give Him your worries?  He will give you peace if you hand over your troubles.

God will grant the blessing of sleep to His beloved.  He will lay aside our concerns and give us a blessed forgetfulness of our needs as we quietly but surely leave our problems with Him. 

Look at how Jesus slept in the middle of a raging storm when the other disciples felt their very lives were at risk!  This is the glorious kind of sleep and peace that Jesus gives to His beloved who put their faith in Him.

Do you model this kind of trusting God to your children?  What am I asking you for?  Ask your wife.

Third, Dad sees his children as a gift  from God.  Verses 3-5 “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.   How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;  They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate.”

Do you see the three ways that children are described in verses 3-4?  First they are spoken of as a gift, a free and gracious gift. 

Second, children are spoken of as a reward, not as an encumbrance or penalty. Whether you have one child or a bundle  the quality of the gift remains the same.   You really have been blessed by God  if you have children! 

Finally children are spoken of as arrows in the hands of a warrior. We all know that sticks are not arrows.  Sticks are sticks.  A stick only becomes an arrow if it is intentionally carved and shaped into an arrow.

Dads and moms we have the incredibly high calling (under God) to make our children into arrows.

There are only so many years to bend them and shape them, being oh so careful not to snap them in two.

Children are arrows that are intended to be shot out at the proper time.  There will come a time when the parents will have done all they can do.

Especially in the early years, when the tender shoots are pliable and spongelike… especially then does the serious work of arrow making begin.

When I was a foolish 10-year-old another friend and I went out into a field to shoot our bow and arrows.  After a while we got tired of the routine.

We decided to have some fun.  We thought it would be cool if we shot our arrows straight up in the air as far as we could and then let them fall where they may, without looking up.

Mercifully, I never did get nailed by my own arrow.  God’s providential care extends far beyond our understanding!  However, is it not also true that these arrows that we are shaping can turn and pierce our hearts as well? (see Luke 2:35).

Yes, but that does not change the fundamental importance of  arrow building.  And once those beauties are built and balanced and honed they are ready to fly.  That’s what arrows are made to do.

Dads, do you see your children as a gift  from God?  That is what they are!

• Dad is a man of vision
• Dad leads by example.
• Dad sees his children as a gift from God.

Now do your homework.