Family Worship or Worship Family? Part II

December 1, 2001
Michael Evans
  

Family Worship or Worship Family?  Part II

Red Green is no theologian but he understands men.  A regular feature on the PBS show is a segment where Red points out some glaring deficiency of men in relation to their wives…that every man can relate to. 

At the end of this segment he always says the following to his fellow Possum Lodge Members: “Ok guys, bow your heads and let’s say it together: ‘I’m a man, I can change, if I have to, I guess.’”

The only reason this is funny is because we all know how downright difficult it is to change…habits, quirky behaviors, patterns in the home…for some, even our own T-shirts.    

Men, the best gift we can give to our wives and families this Christmas is the gift of a renewed (or first-time) commitment to regularly lead our families in the worship of God.

There is nothing that will have a more profound long-term positive impact on our children than believing fathers (themselves growing in grace) regularly bringing the family to the Word of God, prayer, and song.

Children grow up far too quickly to unconsciously neglect the most important things.  So…Don’t! 

In 1847 James Alexander wrote a book titled Thoughts on Family Worship.  It is a sound treatise on the importance of the heads of households leading their families in the daily worship of God.

It is still available through Cumberland Valley Press for about twelve bucks.

In seventy minutes the men of our church are gathering together around pizza, pop, and prayer, to discuss the first five chapters of this book.

There is also going to be a duct-tape Christmas craft time led by one of our church elders. I’m not kidding.

Aside from simply enjoying the fellowship of the brethren we will also encourage one another to fulfill our clear obligations as the heads of our families and hold each other accountable for doing so.

I believe there are two main reasons that many men do not faithfully lead in this area.  First, they do not grasp the eternal impact of such a practice.  Second, they do not know what to do.. practically. 

Let me just say here and now that if a man will simply read the Scriptures to his family regardless of whether he has the ability to say one intelligent, explanatory word about it, he has far surpassed a seminary trained pastor or theologian who neglects this duty entirely.

There is a blessing that will come upon your family simply through the regular  reading and hearing of God’s Word. 

Hebrews 4:12 says “…the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Away with any and all excuses!  There is not one good reason why a believing husband/father should not regularly be leading his family in the worship of God.

Let us not neglect this extraordinary means of grace which God has given us for the good of our own souls as well as our family.

Listen to J. Alexander as he comments on the importance of our home. “The house of our childhood is always lovely, but the presence of the Almighty Protector makes it a sanctuary; and His altar causes home to be doubly home.”

“However long we live, or however far we wander, it will ever abide in memory as the place of prayer, the cradle of our childlike devotions, the circle which enclosed father, mother, sister, and brother in its sacred limit” (Alexander, p. 37).

May the Lord Himself cause our homes to be such places!  This is what I mean when I speak of the phrase Family Worship.

Last month I touched on the subject of worshipping one’s  family rather than the One who alone is worthy of our highest love and praise.

I believe that one of the greatest threats to Christian home-educators is loving our children defectively.  I’ve thought it for years and continue to believe it.

“What,” you may ask, “are some specific examples of what might be considered ‘defective love?’”

Before I give some concrete examples let me just say that at the root of each example is a fundamental sin issue of unbelief.  The taproot of all sin is really unbelief, but especially so in relation to family.

Specific examples…okay.

1. Excessive control of one’s children.  Who can deny that a certain degree of restraint and positive shaping is essential in biblical parenting?

But  what’s up with parents who try to micromanage every moment of a young child’s life insisting that they enjoy the thing their mom or dad enjoy? 

Children need a measure of freedom to grow “in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men” without the crushing shadow of an overprotective mother or father. 

2. Improper distribution of love.  This temptation to sin is uniquely crafted for moms.  How easy it is for home-school moms to be overly wrapped up in the children’s education and welfare.

Is this possible?  Oh yea.  Instead of growing in relationship with the one with whom she is truly “one-flesh” she begins to transfer that primary affection to her children…over time.  Not on purpose mind you.

Is it because moms feel the worldly pressures for their children to “succeed?” Or, is it because moms can tend to tie together the essence of their worth inextricably with their perceived educational successes?

Maybe neither is true but it’s a serious problem when husband and wife are not living and acting as “one flesh.”

Men, this is where you’ve just got to step in and do something to keep the flame alive…or get it lit once again.

As precious as our children are husbands and wives ought to love one another above their own children.

The Scriptures never exhort men to love their children as Christ loved the Church…It does instruct husbands to do this for their wives.

3.  Isolationism.  In John Ch. 17 Jesus speaks of how his twelve disciples are to interact with and in this world.

First Jesus says “they are not of this world” (v.16).  Second, Jesus prays to the Father, “I do not ask you to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one” (v. 15).

How do we help our children be in this world but not of it.  There is not nearly enough serious wrestling going on with the first part of this question.  Why?  Fear, which is rooted in unbelief.

In his book  Apostasy From the Gospel the Puritan John Owen once wrote: “There is a selfish spirit in many Christians.  Contenting themselves with abstaining from sins and with divine worship, they are of little or no use to others.  Some will be kind, helpful and good to a limited extent.  They are concerned only for their own household or their own church…”

Let it not be said of us that we “are of little or no use to others.”  Family worship that does not spill over into this dark world may not be family worship at all, but merely an appearance.

One day, Lord willing, our children will be completely in this world.  If all they know is negatively how not to be of it, then what have we gained?

Whether we admit it or not there are many who find themselves a kindred spirit with the woman in C.S. Lewis’  Great Divorce who says to God of her son, “He is mine, do you understand? Mine, mine, mine, forever and ever.”

This is simply not true.  In no sense is it true. Children are gifts from God to parents to enjoy, shape, mold, love and send out into this world for His glory.

Family worship or worship family?  The decision is yours, the implications enormous.

Winnie the Pooh: “I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.”