Raising Boys to Become Men Like Tychicus

February 1, 2002
Michael Evans

In a Rockland, Maine museum there hangs a moving painting by N.C. Wyeth.

It is a picture of a father holding the hand of his wife who in turn is holding their young son’s hand.  Both father and mother are blind.  The son is not.

The stirring emotion this picture evokes stems from the fact that the wife and son are calmly following the leading of this man, unaware that just a few feet before them is a steep cliff. 

Below this painting the following words are engraved, “The Blind Leading the Blind.”

I’ll let Charles and Norma Ellis in their book The Wells of Salvation: Meditations on Isaiah interpret this painting in their own words:

“This is to the believer, a picture of the father, who should be prophet, priest and king to his family, leading them to destruction because of his own lack of spiritual sight.”

“It is a picture of the spiritual leader, whose eyes have not been opened by the Savior’s touch, leading God’s people into sin and sorrow rather than on to the heavenly city. It is a tragic picture (pp. 189-90).

Indeed, this is a tragic picture that, unfortunately, many fathers never see, even well- intentioned ones.  Why? Because really to see a picture one must be still.  One must concentrate.  The soul must be opened in some measure.

Like you, the last thing in the world I want to be like is the man in this picture. But then it’s always easier not to be like someone than it is to become like them.

That’s why I want to hold out before you all this month a little known man from the Bible who is worthy of imitation.  Even from what little I know of Tychicus I would be pleased if my own boys grew up to be men like him.

Tik’uh-kuhs.  Quick.  Who was this man? And why should fathers aspire to raise boys who become men like him?

The name Tychicus appears five times in the New Testament (Acts 20:4; Eph. 6:21; Col. 4:7-8; 2 Tim. 4:12 and Titus 3:12).

From these accounts we are able to discern that Tychicus  was the Apostle Paul’s trusted personal representative. 

He accompanied Paul to Jerusalem on his second missionary journey and personally delivered the apostolic letters to the Colossian and Ephesian believers.

However, the most descriptive picture of Tychicus comes from Paul’s pen near the end of Colossians.

As Paul wraps up this important epistle  (from a prison cell in Rome) he writes the following commendation of Tychicus to the Colossian believers:

“As to all my affairs, Tychicus, our beloved brother and faithful servant and fellow bond-servant in the Lord, will bring you information.  For I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know about our circumstances and that he may encourage your hearts…” (Col. 4:7-8).

One day, perhaps twenty years from now when my boys are men I would like to look at them and describe them the same way Paul describes Tychicus in this text. 

There are five descriptions Paul uses to commend Tychicus to his hearers.

I. Beloved Brother

Biblical parenting is careful to maintain appropriate relationships between parents and children. 

For example, it is not appropriate when children command their parents to obey them.  It is a clear reversal of Eph. 6:1 and Deut. 5:16 and is but a symptom of far more significant problems.

Wise parents maintain a warm, loving, and appropriate distinction between themselves and their children.  This distinction must be maintained for  appropriate instruction and modeling to take place.  We are not peers with our children.

I trust the above words do not come as “new” to anyone reading this column.  However, there is also an inherent problem with making distinctions.

When redeemed sinners make distinctions they will make mistakes.  The mistake some parents make is that they refuse to let their children grow up, refusing to grant them adult status.

Here is my point.  I want my sons to be like Tychicus,  the “beloved brother” so that one day I might see my grown sons not so much in a fatherly sort of way, but as beloved brothers in Christ.

Think of it!  We exert enormous amounts of time and energy into raising our children.  We pray and build into them the best we can, the character of Christ and all good things.  We teach them respect for authority in general and parents in particular.

And yet, I want more than simply for my sons to respect me as they grow into adults.    I want to look my sons in the eye one day not as sons but as beloved brothers in Christ.

The word “brother” was Paul’s favorite way of describing the closeness of relationships that exists between Christians. 

Oh! Brothers, that we might one day have this same closeness with our own sons!

II. Faithful Servant

Tychicus does not hold any special title of which we are aware.  Paul does refer to him as “faithful servant.”

The word Paul uses for “servant” is the same word he uses for a New Testament deacon, but in this context it simply means one who is a faithful co-worker in the gospel.

Way too much of parenting in our culture is aimed at prevention, keeping children from being a certain way.  Away with such nonsense.

We must be about the business of training our sons to be certain kinds of young men who will one day be truly men.

How I long to be able one day to describe my own sons as “faithful servants” of the Lord, co-workers in the Gospel.  May dads train, and sons aspire, to be like Tychicus.

III. Fellow Bondservant

The third description Paul uses in commending Tychicus is the term “fellow bondservant.”

Literally this means fellow slave.  While Paul was literally a prisoner in Rome as he penned these words he probably intended to say nothing more than that he and Tychicus were fellow slaves of Jesus Christ.

My sons could make me no prouder than one day to be self-professed slaves of Jesus Christ living in joyful obedience to Him.

IV. Bringer of Information

In verses seven and nine Paul tells the Colossian believers that Tychicus will bring them information.  He is going to fill them all in on Paul’s circumstances. 

How I long for my sons to be able to absorb and make sense of the world around them with a Christ-centered world-view.

Even then it is not enough simply to observe correctly.  I long for my sons to become more skilled at sharing information. 

Information about their joys and sorrows.  Likes and dis-likes.  Dreams and nightmares. Information about the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ.  

V. Encourager

Finally, Paul commends Tychicus as one who will “encourage your hearts” (v.8).

The word for “encourage” here is translated as paraclete.  It means comforter.  The Holy Spirit is referred to as the Paraclete to believers.

Tychicus must have been unusually gifted at bringing comfort and encouragement to the body of Christ.

Likewise, I long for my sons to be able to bring comfort and encouragement to the world in which they live.

I read somewhere a couple months ago that there are 107,000 public and private elementary and secondary schools in the United States.

This does not include a single one of the best schools in our nation, your homes…and a place where dads can help boys become men….like Tychicus.