Taking The Farm To The Family

June 3, 2002
Michael Evans
  

“As the door turns on its hinges, so does the sluggard on his bed” (Prov. 26:14).

Disclaimer: If you live on a farm, hobby farm or an acreage, this month’s column will be of no interest to you. 

Some people say that it’s been a good day if they have learned something.  Maybe I’m not as quick a study as I used to be, but I find that if I can learn something significant in the course of a month I’m doing pretty good.

It’s been a good month.  Lately I’ve been lamenting the fact that life is too easy in town.  There are tough days, of course, like when I have to decide whether to put the self-propelled lawnmower height on the 3 or 4 setting.

But, for the most part life in town is a breeze.  Since the box elder bug invasion has subsided we don’t even have any pets to take care of.

In this age of relative ease how is a conscientious father supposed to build a strong work ethic in the lives of his children?

“Like vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so is the lazy one to those who send him” (Prov. 10:26).

Does he work unnecessary extra hours at his job (away from the home) to demonstrate hard work?  I don’t think so.  Your children probably don’t really know what you do anyway (just ask them).

Does he make his boys   pick up the sticks from his nicely manicured lawn, being sure to give them a break every five minutes? 

Yes, he can do these sorts of things, but, in my opinion, they’re just not substantive enough.

I’m not suggesting that my children are lazy.  I’m simply saying that I am not providing them with enough opportunities for significant work. 

You know, the dirty kind with lots of sweat and cuts and scrapes and even moderate levels of risk…the kind of stuff every boy needs in his dad’s quest for his boy to become a man, and the boy’s own instinctual (unconscious) quest to become a man.

This would be the same kind of work that many moms seek to protect their children from.

“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is made fat” (Prov. 13:4).

If we only lived on a farm!  I’ve never known a lazy child who lived on a working farm.  I’m sure they exist but there is something extremely valuable for children growing up with significant daily responsibilities. 

Some of you, no doubt, have seen parts of the PBS series playing this month titled “Frontier House.” 

It is a documentary of three families (selected from among 5,000 applicants)  living for five months in the Montana wilderness as families might have lived in 1883. 

Each family was initially supplied with basic provisions.  But, beyond that, their survival is dependent upon the sweat of their brow.

The romantic notions that many of them (and us!) have had about the simplicity of life in the 1800’s are quickly dispelled by the harsh realities of pioneer life.

Two of the teenage girls in one family had to walk two miles twice a day  to milk a cow, then carry the milk back to their homestead.

This reminds me of a story from Bill Cosby’s book Fatherhood, waxing poetic regarding his own father’s strong work ethic.  

He writes: “Now that my father is a grandfather, he just can’t wait to give money to my kids. But when I was his kid and I asked him for fifty cents, he would tell me the story of his life. How he got up at 5 A.M. when he was seven years old and walked twenty-three miles to milk ninety cows.”

“And the farmer for whom he worked had no bucket, so he had to squirt the milk into his little hand and then walk eight miles to the nearest can. All for 5 cents a month. The result was that I never got my 50 cents.”

“But now he tells my children every time he comes into the house: ‘Well, let's see how much money old Granddad has got for his wonderful kids.’ And the minute they take money out of his hands I call them over to me and I snatch it away from them. Because that is MY money!”

Children do need to learn the value of money, industry, and good hard, honest labor.  So how do those of us in town get the job done?  I have an idea!

“The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; He is weary of bringing it to his mouth again” (Prov. 26:15).

Here’s the idea: Since we do not live on a farm, it’s my responsibility as a dad to bring the farm to the family! 

And just how might I do that?  By beginning some monumental task that is way beyond me in terms of talents (both physical and monetary).  Something that will capture the attention and memories of my kids for the rest of their earthly life…an adventure for the ages!

Our family has recently embarked on just such a project.  Our frontier house (built in 1894) was a prime candidate for just such an adventure. 

We are attempting to convert the attic of our old house into a bathroom, a couple of bedrooms, and a small family room. 

This entails tearing off a major portion of the roof and building dormers.  It involves structural support work and lots of things I probably haven’t even thought of.

“The way of the lazy is as a hedge of thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway” (Prov. 15:19).

One thing is for sure.  It will be an adventure!  It already is.  We began on Tuesday, April 23.  One of my sons and I climbed up through the opening in our bedroom closet and started stuffing filthy blown-in fiberglass insulation into 30 gallon garbage bags.

I figured we could knock this one step off in one day’s time.  Today is May 1 and 124 bags later we’re about 80% done.  Filthy, dirty, hard, gross, exhausting character building work.

In fact, maybe I should empty all the bags out again and build some more character in all of us!

This is my way of bringing the farm to the family.  I have been planning (and praying about) this great adventure for four years. 

The goal, and you heard it here first, is to have the roof redone and enclosed, with dormers, new attic floor joists installed, roof rafters reinforced, and stairs cut in by early September, when the next little bambino is due.

What happens between now and then will be an adventure.  But such is life on the farm…which has now come to our home.

Already I have seen the priceless value of my boys working with me on such a “beyond us all” kind of project. 

The dirt, the sweat, the tiredness, and the camaraderie of working side by side will produce, by God’s grace,  eternally God-honoring character qualities as well as the bond that can only come from a father and his sons attempting something so huge.

“Go to the ant, O sluggard, observe her ways and be wise, which, having no chief, officer, or ruler, prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest. How long will you lie down, O sluggard?  When will you arise from your sleep?  A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest-Your poverty will come in like a vagabond and your need like an armed man” (Prov. 6:6-11).

So, men, be of good courage and try something soon that is way beyond your comfort or skill level.  Bring the farm to the family! 

In the interest of future generations, and the men which will be leading them, help your boys to become men and do so right alongside them, not simply telling stories.  Make your own! 

Then, when your boys become men, they too can exaggerate all that they did as young men. 

And, even if my idea of bringing the farm to the family doesn’t work, if some of you will jump on board with me on this idea, I will at least have some men with whom I might commiserate.