Lessons to be learned from Pac-Man, Nail Guns and Motorcycle Jumping

September 1, 2002
Michael Evans
  

In my file drawer and computer hard drive are hundreds of illustrations, stories, quips and quotes that I have collected through the years. 

Sometimes I enjoy simply browsing through these files for the fun of it….and sometimes because the cisterns of creativity are just plain empty.

This month’s column is dedicated to Christian fathers everywhere, whose hopes for their children, I trust, will surpass the infamous feats of three men:

This month I present to you three men, each of whom in my opinion, either have, or have had, serious problems.  One man is a time waster. Another  has an anger management problem. Still another was a people-pleaser… to a fault.

  Pac-Man

I present to you the first illustration.  Billy Mitchell is a 38-year-old man who four years ago accomplished the unthinkable.  No, he did not come up with an alternative energy source to fuel the internal combustion engine.

Nor did he invent a new hybrid of corn that would boost production by 30% thus serving to help alleviate malnourishment and starvation in under-developed parts of the world.

Instead Billy became the first person ever to play a perfect Pac-Man game.   Experts call it a one in ten billion feat. 

He played for nearly six hours.  Ah! come on, let yourself feel the drama, “At about 1.9 million points, I went off pattern…I said to myself, ‘I’m losing it here.  I didn’t come this far to lose.’  I started talking out loud to myself, talking my way through it.  I was able to cheat death, so to speak.  It was flawless the rest of the way.”

When Mitchell was 17, he set the world record for Donkey Kong.  He also holds the record for Donkey Kong Jr. 

I don’t know about you but I’m speechless.  I don’t know what to say to this feat of Pacmanian proportion.

The only thing I can think of is how many thousands of hours were wasted in this man’s life learning to master silly games.

The eternal truth of Psalm 90:10-12 comes to mind even as it speaks truth in the midst of absurdity:

“As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years, or if due to strength, eighty years, yet their pride is but labor and sorrow; for soon it is gone and we fly away.”

“Who understands the power of Your anger and Your fury, according to the fear that is due You?  So teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.”

There is, I believe, an important place for the element of play in all of our lives, a reality which I’m sure more than a few dour home-school families (not yours), could stand to be reminded of. 

However, the realities of life lived before the face of Almighty God should dictate to us that neither we, nor our children, waste the time necessary to achieve excellence at a game which serves no Kingdom purpose.

Oh! That we dads might present to God not only our own hearts, increasingly filled with godly wisdom, but also those of our children!

Nail Guns

Illustration number two comes by way of a carpenter from Philadelphia named William Bartron…who demonstrates simultaneously 1. How not to properly handle an air nailer, and 2. How not to deal with anger.

This 25-year-old carpenter was remodeling a basement for a client when he accidentally cut off his left hand with a portable miter saw.

Obviously, this was a serious situation and no laughing matter.  However, his response to this tragedy will raise the eyebrow of the most subdued among us.

Upon accidentally severing his left hand, Bartron grabbed his pneumatic nailer and proceeded to fire 15 one inch nails into his skull.

Norm Abrams of Old Yankee Workshop renown, would not be proud.

A brilliant professor of pain management at the University of Pennsylvania suggested that Bartron actually did something that decreased the pain in his hand.

Ah, the brilliance of university professors.  He suggested that what happened was that the concept of “distractibility”  took over and the pain from one part of the body was prioritized over another part.

From where I sit it looks like he now has not only a severed hand, but also 15 nails in his head.  Neither one is particularly appealing, but certainly most of us would agree that one would be better than both.

With all due respect to the professor, I suggest that this unusual response to a tragic situation was fundamentally an anger response.

Many men respond to pain, either physical or otherwise, with anger responses.  Just ask some wives.

The better way is to be growing in grace and sanctification as James tells us in 1:19b-20 “…everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.”

So fellow dads, how are we doing in this area of dealing with anger in appropriate ways before God and our family?

The reason many young men grow up to be men who utter profanities when they accidentally hit their thumb with a hammer, when they otherwise never would, is because that’s what dad did.

Motorcycle Jumping

The final example of a foolish feat comes by way of a motorcycle stunt man who pushed it a little too far…and paid the price.

On March 11, 1996, Butch Laswell was scheduled to jump over the 38 foot high Oasis Hotel-Casino skywalk bridge in Mequite, Nevada.

Laswell had successfully completed more than 5,000 jumps in his 20 year jumping “career.”

This particular jump was more important than the others because he was attempting to break the Guinness World Record (his own) for vertical height on a motorcyle jump (41 feet).

He was also trying to break into the Hollywood stunt man business…so lots of Hollywood big shots were there watching, along with hundreds of by-standers.

When it came time to jump, Laswell was concerned over the cross-winds, which can spell disaster for a man flying through the air on a machine and attempting to land on a narrow ramp.

Before he jumped he told his good friend Eddie Williams that he wanted to back out.  He thought that no one would understand, and that they would all hate him.

So, instead of facing the thought of disappointing hundreds of people, Laswell raced his Honda CR 500 up a steep ramp at 85 mph ascending to a height of 58 feet.

The combination of wind and bike speed carried Laswell off course.  Instead of landing on his ramp his bike crumpled in a heap on the concrete next to the ramp, killing him instantly.

And for what reason did he die?  Because he did not want to disappoint a few fans?  Because people might not understand? 

Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.”

For whatever reason, Mr. Laswell made a decision to jump, even though he knew that it was the wrong one.  Something more persuasive than truth and wisdom reigned in his heart that day. And now he’s dead.

Proverbs 29:25 says, “The fear of man brings a snare, but he who trust in the Lord will be exalted.”

Oh! That we might be about the business of raising children who love sound wisdom and reason and good judgment more than the applause and “oohs and ahs” of men.

Three men. Three true stories.  A time-waster.  An angry man  and a people- pleaser.  Brothers, by the grace and strength of God, let’s aim a little higher!