The Inestimable Value of Time and Traditions

December 1, 2002
Michael Evans
  

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring……except for one hapless, poisoned mouse… whose capture, I venture to say, has never before, or ever will be,  duplicated again. 

This episode ranks right up there with the exploding pig but I’ll leave that one for another day.   

This stunning and hilarious episode occurred 29 years ago because of a family tradition.  

Fourteen years ago James Dobson published a list of qualities that more than 500 family counselors agreed were characteristics of strong families. 

These qualities were: 1. Communicating and listening.  2. Affirming and supporting family members.  3. Respecting one another. 4. Developing a sense of trust.  5. Sharing time and responsibility.  6. Knowing right from wrong.  7. Having rituals and traditions.  8. Sharing a religious core.  9. Respecting privacy (Dec, 1988 Focus on the Family Bulletin).

I’m interested in number seven today.  Having rituals and traditions is not necessary to be a strong family, I suppose, though I’ve never known a strong, close family who didn’t have them.

They may be as mundane as taking the family for a drive after the Thanksgiving meal every year.  Or, they may be as exciting as taking the whole family on an Aspen ski vacation the day after Christmas each year.

Whatever the case our lives are more or less defined by these kinds of annual traditions and rituals.  They give us and our children something to which we might look forward. 

They give us security.  They create intimacy.  They create kairos moments.

The Bible uses two different Greek words for time.  The first word is kronos, which refers to time in general, a period of time.

The second word, kairos, refers to a moment in time…the emphasis being upon the uniqueness of that particular moment.

Though life may appear to be defined by time in general this is not the case.  Life that is truly life is defined by a succession of moments in time.

Moments like what happened to me two hours ago when Benjamin called me at the office to let me know that Gabriella had just rolled from her stomach to her back for the first time!

I rushed home (four blocks) only to see her do the same thing three more times in a row, to the sheer delight of the entire family!  Kairos moments.  Life is made up of them.

The world says Carpe Diem! (seize the day)…not bad, but God’s Word says “…be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time [kairos, not chronos], because the days are evil” (Eph. 5:15-16).

I’m so thankful that Karla is at home with the children…not missing those kairos moments that God intends parents to share in.

A few months ago I cut out an entry from the Des Moines Register’s “Your 2 cents worth,”which was stunning:    

“My nephew and his wife have two young sons in day-care and a couple times a month they drive across town on their lunch hour to have lunch with their boys.  I’m so proud of what great parents they are.”

Hey, I don’t presume to know the details of this particular situation but what a joke to define “great parents” as those who would take the trouble to drive across town twice a month on their lunch hour to visit their children who are being raised by other adults.

So many wasted moments in time. Wasted because they were not observed by you.  So many regrets down the road. 

Regrets, because in hindsight the bigger salary came with increased time commitments which was accompanied by many lost moments.  

Regardless of how lavish the traditions and rituals may be, nothing can compare to kronos (time in general) with the family.  Why? Because it’s in the context of kronos that kairos moments occur.

Little kronos little kairos.  Much kronos, more of the precious kairos moments.

Some of our family traditions and rituals include game playing, prayer and family devotions, regular church attendance, picking out the Christmas tree and decorating it together, making Christmas candy, attending the Christmas Eve candlelight service.

Some others would be vacations, going out to eat, bike rides, big birthday celebrations, singing songs while dad plays the accordion, guitar or piano with the harmonica.  We take the concept of “joyful noise” to new heights in our home.

Traditions and rituals are never going to be equally enjoyable to all members of the same family.  That’s one of the reasons they’re important, because they show us that the family is more than just one person.

So how about it?  Can you sit down at this moment and write down ten “moments” you have had with your family in the past year?  Two years?  A lifetime?

The little known Old Testament prophet Joel wrote of the impending judgment of God upon faithless Israel.

His words were tough and yet tender.  He could say things like “Let all who live in the land tremble, for the day of the Lord is coming…” (2:1)

Yet in the next breath he could speak hopeful and tender words from God, “Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love…” (2:13).

The blessings of God only follows repentance and obedience. 

Joel puts it this way: [after repentance] “…then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust, and the gnawing locust…and you shall have plenty to eat and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you….” (2:25-26).

This promise from God must have come as a precious morsel for starving people.

But more than simply a promise to provide sustenance to the faithful, this promise also includes the restoration and redemption of lost kairos moments. 

How can God “make up to you” for the years that the locusts have eaten?  I’m not exactly sure.  But He promises that He can and will.

He who called all things into existence before there was any thing at all, besides Himself (and the Son and the Spirit), surely this God is able to do what He promises in “making up to you” that which the locusts have eaten.

He who formed the heavens and the earth from nothing can surely “make up to you” in ways that you cannot begin to imagine…if only we acknowledge our sin and repent of it.

So, if this is you, repent.  Make plans to change your life if necessary, to eradicate the locusts in your life.  They’re nasty, soul-less and persistent.

Build traditions and rituals and let God bring those precious kairos moments back into your life.

Moments like my family experienced as I was growing up, especially the poisoned mouse on Christmas Eve.

One of the traditions our family had as I was growing up was that on Christmas Eve every year we had oyster stew and peanuts. 

To this day I can’t even imagine swallowing one of those slimy bottom dwelling  critters. 

I believe the year was 1977.  We had recently been experiencing some mouse problems in our old house and had put mouse poison underneath the cupboards. 

As our family sat down for our Christmas Eve meal (including my now 102-year-old Grandma) a mouse came out of nowhere and ran into the middle of the floor.

For some reason there was an empty pill bottle lying on the floor, flat.  Somehow, against all odds, this mouse ran head first into the empty pill bottle. 

The force of its head-first entry propelled the bottle into an upright position where it remained…the tail wildly waving out of the top end of the bottle.  The mouse was now looking at us with its head pinned to the bottom of the bottle.

Imagine it!  One moment we…well some of us are eating oyster stew and the next minute we’re laughing hysterically at the (poisoned?) mouse that ran into the pill bottle which landed in an upright position.

This was a kairos moment!  It defined a moment in time that none of us will ever forget.  And it happened because our family had traditions and rituals.

Does yours?  If not, start today.  Start this Christmas!  Redeem the time!  For the glory of God and for the sake of future generations …redeem the time and learn to recognize and relish those kairos moments!