The Place of Epic Adventures in Shaping the Male Soul

August 1, 2003
Michael Evans
  

I would do almost anything if I could be assured that my two sons would not grow up to be like Hophni and Phineas. 

First Samuel Chapters one through four tell the pathetic tale of these two sons of Eli.  The Bible describes them as “worthless” and “wicked” and “sons of Satan.”

Like their father Eli, Hophni and Phineas were also priests.  However they were corrupt to the core.  In fact, the Bible tells us that they weren’t even “believers.”

They forcefully stole the best meat of the sacrifices that sincere worshipers were offering, causing many to stumble along the way.  

Worse, they even slept with prostitutes who hung out around the temple.

Other than this I’m sure they were fine young men… The only problem was that their gross, repetitive, high-level blasphemy against all that was holy had put them in an awful pickle.

It was too late, because now it was the “Lord’s will to put them to death” (1 Sam. 2:26).  And the Lord did just that as we see from 1 Sam. 4:11.

Upon hearing the news of his sons’ death Eli fell backward off his chair, broke his neck and died.

He had led Israel for forty years but his worthless sons brought God’s curse on their family (1 Sam. 2:30-33).

Eli’s sin was the weak moral character which kept him from properly addressing his priestly sons’ sins.

But why were Eli’s sons such boneheads?  If you recall, Hannah dedicated Samuel to the Lord and basically left him under the care of Eli from the time he was weaned!

Samuel turned out great!  Hophni and Phineas did not.  Why? 

What role did good or bad parenting play in it all?  The text doesn’t tell us so we don’t know. 

Good parenting, by God’s good and gracious design, tends to produce children very much unlike Hophni and Phineas, though there is no guarantee.

I think I have an idea of what went wrong with Hophni and Phineas. 

I think somewhere along the way the development of their masculine souls was short-circuited.

Maybe Dad (Eli) was hanging out at the temple too much. 

Whatever the case it never hurts the development of a son’s (or daughter’s) soul to spend serious time with Dad.

I think Eli should have taken his boys on a backpacking trip just as soon as they were old enough!

He could have led them on an epic adventure into the mountains surrounding ancient Palestine.

Together they could have struggled.  Together they could have soaked in the panoramic vistas which stretch all the way to the Mediterranean Sea.

Together they could have dealt with unexpected twists and turns in their plans.

Eli would have had plenty of opportunities to share his heart with his boys far away from the hustle and bustle of the Temple.

Yes.  I think Eli should have taken his sons on a backpacking trip, or something of a similar nature.

Epic adventures are critical to the development of the male character and soul. 

I can’t show you a verse in the Bible that proves it, but I know it’s true.

Think about yourself for a moment.  What were some of the most significant moments in your life with your father?

And if this is even too painful to consider because the memories are mostly bad or painful or hurtful then sadly, you have proven the point.

I think of the White Water rafting trip my family took.  I think of the many camping trips which included a flash flood on one occasion (right through my tent) and  tornado-like winds on another…which lifted our trailer up in the air and smashed it on its side. Very cool!

So you see it doesn’t have to be a backpacking trip, but your sons need something with a strong element of adventure, even some element of potential danger.

Without it a boy’s soul will be missing something important.  

Sons do not need two mommies.  They need one mom and they need one dad who will heed the masculine call to help his boys become men.

Several months ago I clipped out a quote from James Dobson’s newsletter which I found intriguing.

“The truth is, Dad is more important than Mom.  Mothers make boys.  Fathers make men. In infancy, both boys and girls are more emotionally attached to the mother” (Joseph Nicolosi,A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality)

There are too many of us men who are still boys, dare I say even sissified boys.  I guess I do. 

This world needs men!  It takes masculine fathers to make men.

So begin asking yourself the question.  And also ask the Lord, “How can I better help my boys to become men?”

And do not let the question die until you have some concrete ideas.

On July 27 I have plans to take Luke (11) and Benj (9) on an epic adventure… a backpacking trip to the Bighorn Mountains of Wyoming.

My old highschool friend and college roommate, Shannon, and his 11-year-old son Eric, will be rounding out the team.

Shannon and I, along with another friend, backpacked this region as kind of a senior trip sometime back in the last century.

We have also individually led other backpacking trips to the Bighorns through the years.

But never with our own boys!  I woke up one Saturday last month and realized that my boys were old enough for an epic adventure.

I called Shannon (who lives two hours away) on the phone and said, “What are we thinking?  Our boys are old enough to go backpacking!  Let’s go!”

And because of our gracious wives (thanks Karla and Lisa) who understand something of the critical nature of such epic adventures in the souls of boys, we will be leaving (Lord willing) one month from this very day that I am writing these words.

Already it has ignited something in my boys that I rarely see.  Unbridled enthusiasm about something they know absolutely nothing about.

They’re excited to have their own colored Nalgene bottles!  They’re excited to have their own backpacking sleeping bags!

I have shown them pictures from previous trips of the rainbow, golden, and lake trout that we have caught from 10,000+ foot elevation alpine lakes.

I have told them stories of moose encounters, alpine meadows, snowball fights in July and they love to listen and are already imagining their own adventures.

I haven’t done this kind of thing for awhile so we are having to buy lots of equipment.  I do hope my brand new $15 backpacking tent holds up.  I’ll let you know in the next column.

The most important thing about dad leading his boys (or girls) on an epic adventure is that it be planned in such a way as to maximize the possibility of making it a good experience for the kids.

In other words, dad will probably be wearing the pack that weighs 100 lbs, not Benjamin. 

After hiking in about nine miles and increasing 2,200  feet in elevation we will be camping at an area called Seven Brothers Lakes.

This is a series of seven pristine lakes [full of hungry trout] over the course of about 1-1/2 miles nestled on the top of a beautiful mountain.  

So if you think about us one month from now please pray for us, that the Lord would bless this epic adventure and stir up the masculine souls of our boys.

Maybe your epic adventure will look much different than ours.  Perhaps you will want to take your sons on a week long baseball-mania trip to all the major-league parks in the Midwest.

What you do doesn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that you do some adventure that is set apart from the routine. 

And may the Lord grant that each of us men have boys who are becoming men who are nothing at all like Hophni and Phineas.