The Shepherding Heart of Heavenly Minded Fathers

October 1, 2003
Michael Evans

Anyone who is good with words can easily contort another’s words to mean something entirely different than what he intended.

It happens to politicians, painters, preachers, poets, prognosticators and pediatricians alike.      

In the honorable pursuit  of desiring more specifics on all things we who are disciples of Jesus Christ often tend to do this with the Bible as well. 

The Bible simply does not speak all that much about earthly fathering. 

Outside of Deut. Ch. 6, Proverbs, a few verses in the Pauline Epistles and of course the example of our Heavenly Father’s fathering, we are left primarily with principles that relate to every area of life, including fathering.

Of course, we also have ample real life biblical illustrations of good and bad parenting. 

Do you ever wonder what part Adam and Eve had in the raising of their murderous son Cain?

Or what about Noah?  The Bible says that Noah was a “righteous man, blameless in his time; Noah walked with God” (Gen. 6:9).

Indeed Noah did obey the Lord when He commanded him to build an ark, a shelter, to protect both him and his family from the impending catastrophic flood. 

In doing this he set a great example of obedience to God in which his three sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth might follow.

After the eight safely departed from the ark the Bible tells us that from these three sons of Noah, “the whole earth was populated” (Gen.9:19).

If Noah hadn’t obeyed God you wouldn’t have the benefit of your present existence.

And yet what did Noah do shortly after God’s miraculous deliverance of his family and the entire animal kingdom?

He planted a vineyard, got stone drunk, and lay naked in his tent. 

Even though wine in the ancient mid-eastern world was as accepted as Gatorade is in modern western culture, drunkenness has always been a shameful show of weakness.

Noah’s son Ham walked in on his father.  Implicit in this text is some kind of sinful intention on Ham’s behalf. 

Ham departs and informs his two brothers Shem and Japheth who quickly place  a garment over their father in an attempt to preserve their father’s honor.

When Noah sobered up he “knew what his youngest son had done to him.”  His response:  Noah cursed his grandson Canaan! 

Through no fault of his own Canaan wore the curse of Noah around his neck all his days…providing the theological foundation of the Jews’ historic battles with the Canaanites.

It’s not clear exactly what Ham did to deserve such a harsh and irrevocable condemnation by his father, but some form of rebuke must have been deserved.

Worse, for the curse to be laid upon his grandson is doubly  harsh. 

One key component of Heavenly-minded fathering is shepherding one’s children.  Protecting them.  Providing for them.  Praying for them.  Plowing a path for them that is first of all possible to be followed in and second, worth following.

Noah failed his son Ham, and Ham failed his son Canaan in this regard.

The great challenge for men is to effectively vacillate between the seemingly opposite poles of strength, stability and sustainer, to that of supporter, sensitive nurturer, and softie.

Too many of us are like the man leading the sheep in the following story.

A pastor was taking a group of parishioners on a tour of the Holy Land. 

He had just read them the parable of the good shepherd and was explaining tothem that, as they continued their tour, they would see shepherds on the hillsides just as in Jesus' day.

He wanted to impress the group, so he told them what every good pastor tells his people about shepherds.

He described how, in the Holy Land, shepherds always lead their sheep, always walking in front to face dangers, always protecting the sheep by going ahead of them. 

He barely got the last word out when, sure enough, they rounded a corner and saw a man and his sheep on the hillside.

There was only one problem: the man wasn't leading the sheep as the good pastor had said. No, he was behind the sheep and seemed to be chasing them.

The pastor turned red. Flabbergasted, he ran over to the fence and said, “I always thought shepherds in this region led their sheep -- out in front. And I told my people that a good shepherd never chases his sheep.”

The man replied, “That's absolutely true...you're absolutely right... but I'm not the shepherd, I'm the butcher!” (Adapted from Keenan Kelsey “The Whole Flock”)

Could it be that, in relation to our fathering skills, many of us dads are often times more akin to the bumbling butcher than the Good Shepherd?

Could it be that, despite our best intentions, our “shepherding” often times resembles more of an impatient chase than effective shepherding?

There are many areas which could be covered under  such a large subject, but communication between dads and kids is one of the larger ones.

Josh McDowell has been trying to find out what dads are doing in Christian families, and the news isn't good.

In his book The Dad Difference, McDowell notes that 25% of church going teens say they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father, defined as “a talk centered on the teens' interests.”

I can almost hear the objections (from my own mouth as well, that “I do have many meaningful conversations with my children.”  That’s one of the main problems…it always has to be on our terms!

But what is meaningful to me and what is meaningful to my five-year-old daughter are two very different things.

It’s downright difficult for me to give my undivided attention to Elisabeth so that she can tell me all about imaginary people and places and adventures.

I know in my heart of hearts that one day in the future I will long for my daughter to run to me, just to talk as I quietly listen.

Father in Heaven, help us fathers to shepherd the souls of our children, not chasing them, but gently nurturing them, listening to them, focusing on their interests and not always our own, and may we see Your faithful hand conforming them to the image of Your Son. In Jesus Name, Amen.

On a lighter note….

As I finish typing these final words on September 17, and send it off to the Niche Newsletter editor I do so with cautious enthusiasm.

The reason I’m two weeks ahead of schedule is because in five minutes we are leaving for a ten day family vacation.

The following are some word combinations that you do not want to hear of the exact location you intend to be in three days:

1.        Mandatory evacuations

2.        Bridges closing

3.        Hurricane Isabelle

4.        Possibly 25 foot high waves.

You guessed it!  In three minutes we begin heading east toward Virginia Beach, Virginia, even as the entire Mid-Atlantic seaboard is evacuating.

The plan was to spend three days driving out to Virginia, stay in a huge rental house (one row of houses away from the Atlantic Ocean) with some great (and generous) friends, go to Jamestown, Williamsburg, plantations, the beach, etc.

I had hardly even heard of Virginia Beach before this vacation was scheduled.  Now the brunt of this massive hurricane is forecast to hit right where we’re staying.  It’s going to be interesting!